Why Brooke Shields These days Apologized to College Boyfriend Dean Cain: I Became as soon as ‘Stunned from Disgrace’

Brooke Shields is opening up about wishing she’d lived more in the moment — and embraced her sexuality — right thru her romance with ex-boyfriend Dean Cain.

In this week’s duvet interview for PEOPLE, the actress, 57, recollects being in a “massive relationship” with the “lovely” and “mouthwatering” Cain, 56, whereas at Princeton College.

Yet as she explores in her upcoming documentary, Shields turn into as soon as sexualized early on in films reminiscent of 1978’s Exquisite Minute one (the place she performed a baby prostitute) and The Blue Lagoon (1980), an intense objectification which led her to disassociate from her body.

It additionally led to shut to-fixed questions about her appears to be like to be and intercourse lifestyles from the time she turn into as soon as a teen. “I turn into as soon as essentially the most infamous virgin on this planet,” she has quipped.

The depth of the glory performed out in her early romantic lifestyles — and her dynamic with Cain.

“We had a large relationship, broke up, got abet together again after three years. And that could deserve to had been a pleasant time for me of reveling in it and feeling proud and free because I turn into as soon as in cherish,” she tells PEOPLE.

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Brooke Shields on the quilt of PEOPLE.
Michael Schwartz

“But it turn into as soon as as if I turn into as soon as proper taken aback from disgrace, pondering all individuals turn into as soon as going to know, pondering of letting my followers down because I had professed one thing,” Shields provides.

Earlier than he turn into as soon as Superman on Lois & Clark: The Contemporary Adventures of Superman, Cain turn into as soon as Shields’ soccer-participant boyfriend and classmate at Princeton College.

The model and actress recollects of their relationship, “He proper turn into as soon as so right and loving and proper so in cherish. And I did now not invent it easy.”

Truly, she tells PEOPLE, she even “apologized” to her ex “just a few years abet” for now not taking half in the moment more.

“I mentioned, ‘I’m sorry for you, and I’m truly sorry for me,’ ” Shields remembers.

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A mom to 2 daughters on the present time — Rowan, 19, and Grier, 16 — Shields says she uses what she has realized from her indulge in expertise in speaking her hopes for them.

As she explains, “I prefer them to truly feel infamous in desire to shamed — shamed by their body, shamed by their sexuality.”

“It is such a burden to preserve,” Shields provides.

Brooke Shields: Exquisite Minute one premieres April 3 on Hulu.

For more on Brooke Shields, buy up essentially the most recent be troubled of PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday.